Rex Yehudi (shoham) gave feedback to Ian MacPhail for “Holiday”:
Very clever story. Quirky characters as always... One thing I would suggest is that while I enjoyed your narrative voice, I feel as if you could give a lot more power to your characters if you would give them some more dialogue.

I feel like they are interesting creatures, from an interesting world and would like to hear their voices a little more clearly in these stories.

Thank you,
-Shoham
 Dec 20, 2012, 11:11 EST
Ian MacPhail 
It had to be under 500 words, I barely got away with this because if you count the hypenated words as 1 word, it's 546 which is 500 + ~10% for experimental error.
flag (Dec 20, 2012, 18:36 EST)
Rex Yehudi (shoham) 
Highly scientific! Still, I liked where you were going, and still wouldn't mind learning more about these characters...
flag (Dec 20, 2012, 20:50 EST)