Cody, One of the issues I disagree with here is: "The communities were circular,
with the chief at the heart in the center of the network. Very much how we view the Internet as a collective mind society" But the internet lacks formal 'chiefs'. You don't seem to get into this. With the Internet there is in my view an attempt to make the inorganic seem organic, which is the mirage... I don't know if you feel as if that is a strength of the internet or a weakness... More to come, -Shoham

A lot to say about this, because you are saying a lot in this. The first thing that REALLY popped out for me was on page 5: "This is why there are 12 notes in the musical scale (and I feel one is missing, due to 3.14x 4 = 12.52)" Over time, I want to work with this in our rehearsals and recording sessions, there's A LOT to this. I'm going to give you some constructive criticism that you could take a few ways: I don't think that it's a problem that you are jumping around with ideas, but some of your grammar AND spelling is sloppy. That only works stylistically for me if you are (1) Going for a VERY 'raw' narrative voice and or if you think it just doesn't matter -- but that's nihilistic and your theories are the exact opposite. I feel as if you need to go back over all 14 pages and find the dozen or so areas that are the most egregious. More to say! Very rich source material you are providing here and I love that you are being so bold with the way you are throwing the kitchen sink at your audience: "Here is the TRUTH -- deal with it". Unfiltered. BUT... You need to go ver the entire piece and clean up your grammar or it gets lost and your work looks disorganized which is NOT what you want... Page 10: "we need every artist in the world to come together to save it." -- I'm sorry, is there an echo in here?!? Thanks for sharing your ideas!
-Shoham

Digging the vocals kb! Mellow track. Someone here said it sounds like a requiem.

THIS is Halloween! how close are you too finishing the album? -s

I enjoyed the video a lot. My one criticism would be that the drums could be tighter, but I am an awful drummer myself so have no real room to talk here. Actually a good live performance A strong early Brand New vibe in the song with a bit of Blink thrown in. Good tune

Perfect lo-intensity track. I feel like the vocals could be stronger.

So is this the story you were telling me about? I like the subtle production qulaity of this track. Not too many unnecesary frills. Who did the production on this? And the backup vocals?

Woah! I got some good headphones together for this one and I'm glad that I did. Very intense choral arrangement throughout. It's a weird track, what can I say, but I mean that in a good way! I feel like you are definitly getting stronger as a composer. One thing I haven't mentioned, but now that I know more about electronic music and your style\voice, I feel like you should add more edm drops once and a while. -Sho

Awesome rendition. I'm definitly hearing the HH influence, I gotta love the instrumental arrangement and the harmonies are tight as hell!!!! 'Just once' -- I was hoping you'd use that one. I feel like two things that could improve the arrangement would be (1) two or three stops, like complete rests and also (2) A 12 bar blues in the middle and or outro. Just some thought. Thank you, -$Shoham

KB, I'm out of town at the moment. Will be back soon. Can't listen right now. how is life on the new homefront??? -S