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Great poem, Octavio. For me, the most powerful moment is the uncertainty of the ending--the reality of war seems almost impossible to rectify with ideals of promised paradise, and the last line does a great job of heightening that contrast. Keep it up!
Thank you Ted :] I'm glad you like the poem, I was actually in Jerusalem when I wrote it. It was inspired by 'events on the ground' and a girl I was trying to hook up with/impress who I met online :] I'm glad somebody liked it :] I will try to keep it up!!!
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