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Genres: Poetry, Other Writing
Tags: Theapparatushadus

License: FeedForward Collaboration License
The apparatus had us.
Date uploaded: Aug 21, 2011, 09:34 EDT Show more info
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Ted Kindig gave feedback to WalaWalaWala for “The apparatus had us.”:
I had an interesting time reading this, WalaWalaWala: at first glance I skimmed it over and figured I'd more or less taken it all in, but there is another dimension to it if you take the time to read every word in real time. The repetition makes the phonetics and by extension the semantics seem strange, and the way in which none of the paragraphs sync with our internal expectation for four bar rhythmic phrasing is very subtly offputting. Not sure how consciously you planned for the form to complement the words, but it's quite interesting.
 Nov 22, 2011, 16:11 EST
WalaWalaWala 
I think it must have been luck on my part, but it was originally just "The Apparatus Had Us" and then I copied and pasted it, because that didn't really look that good so I copied and pasted it like 100 times. Here's another where I just used the same technique since you had a good response: http://www.feed-forward.net/w.2913_The_Rise_of_Kolkata I don't think that it turned out as well ;p

-Shoham

PS: The Apparatus Had Us.
flag (Nov 22, 2011, 16:28 EST)


Ted Kindig gave feedback to WalaWalaWala for “The apparatus had us.”:
I had an interesting time reading this, WalaWalaWala: at first glance I skimmed it over and figured I'd more or less taken it all in, but there is another dimension to it if you take the time to read every word in real time. The repetition makes the phonetics and by extension the semantics seem strange, and the way in which none of the paragraphs sync with our internal expectation for four bar rhythmic phrasing is very subtly offputting. Not sure how consciously you planned for the form to complement the words, but it's quite interesting.
 Nov 22, 2011, 16:09 EST


WalaWalaWala gave feedback to WalaWalaWala for “The apparatus had us.”:
The apparatus had us.
 Sep 12, 2011, 08:44 EDT
WalaWalaWala 
uhuh.
flag (Sep 12, 2011, 11:20 EDT)